Almost any other creature would be welcome. I acknowledge it’s an unfair assumption but I draw the long, skinny line against this fellow. I don’t know him but still I don’t like him. No reason. And I’m not budging on the issue. Imagine, a beautiful afternoon, mulching, mowing and playing with the puppy.

I took a short five minute intermission from where I’d been kneeling in the dirt pushing the mulch around. Then the question….

Hey, did you see the snake? Me: NO, what snake and where? Exactly where you were just mulching.

I looked and sure enough, all curled up, nestled comfortably is the snake. IN MY GARDEN. IN MY MULCH. IN MY SPACE. Needless to say my interest in this activity was effectively terminated. I rip off the gloves and the knee pads and declare my status. FINISHED.

But still, something obviously needs to be done about this creature. What shall WE do with it?

I challenge anyone to deny they haven’t used the “we” word in this context. Simply, it means we — but not me. I may watch but I will not help. “We” should put him someplace. WE. You get my point. In certain circumstances, “we” just does not exist. (Such as, what time are we getting up today?, or What time did we get in last night….)

Anyway, my plan was not executed. Snake catching is a slippery business. I’ve never caught a snake so I was blissfully unaware of the SOP. The standard operating procedure in this situation involves a series of steps, of course. Apparently, they must go in order also.

Put the dog inside. Let’s (which is just another form of the “we”) find something to put the snake in. Let’s find something to catch it with….meanwhile, I swear there was a committee/coffee meeting on how to corral this fellow and relocate him to a new home.

Of course what happened was he slipped away, back into his private estate where he is most likely procreating smaller snakes to torment me. I heard it myself, before the snake catcher could get to him – HE GOT AWAY. DARN. Yeah, darn I said. I will not elaborate on what I was thinking….

No matter what happens with snakes, DO NOT google the word snake to find out what it was or was not……the pictures are not worth it………….

Snakes, why did it have to be snakes?

Raiders of the Lost Ark